Friday, May 20, 2011

Truth.

1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die. 

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong. 

3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font. 

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? 

6. Was learning cursive really necessary? 

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my 
neighborhood. 

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. 

9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired. 

10. Bad decisions make good stories. 

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.

13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this – ever. 

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? **** it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. 

18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well. 

19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

20. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option. 

21. Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.

22. I would rather try to carry 10 over-loaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in. 

23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text. 

24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger. 

25. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?

26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever. 

28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year? 

29. There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

30. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate bicyclists.

31. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is. 

32. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet my ass everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

Lol...almost every single one of these is true for me! I found this online this morning and had to share! I hope y'all have a great weekend! 

3 comments:

Rachel said...

hahaha...me too! I was reading it thinking 'this is weird, we have the same brain'. I wonder if one person wrote it or if it was a collection of people's thoughts.

I have no idea about 5...I just chuck it to the back of the shelf and hope no-one sees!

Betty said...

#8 - I TOTALLY agree. Matter of fact I think my obituary will read "Betty B. Wife, daugther, etc. passed away of (insert reason here) leaving behind her amazing husband...

#11 - I think when that moment comes you should be able to leave work. We should all get Vacation, Sick Days, and I'm not going to be productive days.

#32 - Not only can I find the snooze. I can turn the darn thing off and not even realize I did it until I wake up hours later!

Thanks for posting these...they were quite fun to read!! Have a fabulous weekend!

Kate said...

Ha, I literally laughed out loud at most of these...as I've been pulling a #11 pretty much all day! :)

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