Monday, May 23, 2011

Blah, Blah, Blah

Happy Monday y'all! I hope you all had a good weekend...I blogged about my Saturday, we had an amazing time. I love spending time with my family, my young cousins are probably some of the cutest kids in the world, and I love spending as much time with them as possible. Sunday turned out to be a great day, we had a great sermon at church, then he came to my house where we had planned to have a lazy Sunday. I had woke up early and cooked his favorite, chicken spaghetti...and it turned out great! He was shocked...he is pretty used to my meals being not so great...haha...and he loves me anyway! We both decided we wanted to see the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie, so we caught an early afternoon show. We had a really good day together...which I was kind of worried about, seeing our week last week did not end well. 
I am going to have one of those honest moments, I don't like having often...I prefer cupcakes and rainbows...but sometimes life happens. I know not every relationship can be perfect, and quite frankly, I think perfect would be quite boring. I think he and I do a good job of keeping it pretty mellow though. One thing that drives me absolutely crazy are the people complain about their relationship openly on Facebook...then 2.7 seconds later they're great and have never been more in love. In my opinion it makes them look foolish...everyone will have arguments, but I do not think it is necessary to blast them on Facebook, when you know you will be fine the next day. Wow, that was completely unnecessary, and doesn't relate to this at all...I guess I'm just saying, I am not bashing Nate, or my relationship with him. I am using this blog as a journal, a reminder of the good times, and the not so good times. If I post something on here that is real life, it is usually because I want advice, or an opinion of someone who wouldn't be bias. 
Friday I had what I like to call an, "Only child, spoiled brat fit"...they are not as frequent as they used to be, and are the result of 24 years of getting my way. I have really grown up in the last few years, and I am really not as bad as I used to be, but I'm pretty good at getting what I want. Nate and I have a pretty normal routine. Right now he lives about 30 mins. away from me, and we both work 4 days a week, so we usually just spend the weekends together, and will occasionally squeeze a week night in if we haven't had a crazy busy day. This weekend I already knew Saturday would be out, because I would be at the recital, and I had planned to spend the day with my Mom, so I was looking forward to Friday, and our normal Sunday. Well Friday he decided he wanted to stay home, which is fine...I mean...he wasn't telling me he was going to a bar to pick up girls, he wasn't doing anything other than just relaxing at home, because he had a pretty busy week. Well, the girl in me, the one who makes men hate women took it like any girl would, right..."He just doesn't want to spend time with me"....OMGeee...let's just say we had a rough day. I had a good phone conversation with my best friend Kyndall, who honestly should be a man (I love her, and I told her this also, she wont be offended!) She told me so many things that made so much sense, and she told me to just calm down, and wait on him to call me back later that day. She said to think about what I would say to him, and tell him how I felt and why I reacted like I did. She reminded me that guys are completely different characters than women, and sometimes, honestly, they just get sick of us and want to be alone. I mean, just because he didn't want to come over didn't mean he didn't love me, and it didn't change any of our plans for the future, but it just totally threw me into a  fit (as described above). 
I hate that moment in an argument where you know you're wrong, but you've fought so hard to prove otherwise, that you'll keep going with it...in hopes that you'll convince them! When I got off the phone with Kyndall and started to think about things, I got to that point, the point where I felt foolish, and just wish that real life had a rewind button. He called a little later, and we talked...I told him honestly how I felt, and he explained how he felt also. Everything is really good now, we ended that night with a promise that our time doesn't always have to be spent with one another. We both have separate lives from one another, but ultimately what it comes down to is that I love him, and he loves me, and 7 years from now we will probably be the married couple, where I am begging him to go play golf, or go fishing. We can go 10 days without seeing each other, or we can spend every day together, and either way we will still love each other just as much. I don't want the perfect relationship, I just want an slightly effortless relationship. I know they say a relationship is hard work, but I don't believe it has to be that way. I found this quote, and it has been one of my favorites...I should probably have it tattooed on my wrist as a constant reminder that not everything has to go my way all the time. I can't change people into what I want them to be, that I need to appreciate all the great things they provide just the way they are. I can't make him into my perfect version of a boyfriend who is there when I snap, and doesn't know the word no...although sometimes I think that would be perfect...how boring would that get?!

"Trying to change someone is a waste of time. The very thought of changing someone is saying that they are not good enough as they are, and it is soaked with judgment and disapproval. That is not a thought of appreciation or love, and those thoughts will only bring separation between you and that person. You must look for the good in people to have more of it appear. As you look only for the good things in a person, you will be amazed at what your new focus reveals!"

So here is where I want to hear from you...what do you do to make it work. What are some little rules that you've made for yourself that make things easier in your relationship?


I hope you guys have a great Monday...(and if you've made it this far thanks for ignoring the run-on sentences, and terrible grammar!)




1 comment:

Rachel said...

Oh this lesson is a tough one isn't it?! I certainly haven't mastered it yet.

It took me 2 years of marriage before I got over the worst of my selfishness (which sounds awful!). I think the thing that helps me is that I try to impress my hubby every day...I want to make him come home and think wow, I'm so happy I married her. Whether that means baking, or oranising something nice for him or not nagging if he wants to go out with the boys I think having that attitude has helped me to be less selfish and have the motivation to get things done.
It doesn't always work, but it helps!

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