Letters to my younger self:
You've done pretty well sticking to your "30 day plan" with guys, but one day a really funny guy, with incredible dimples will come along and he will steal your heart...you will date for a few years...and when it ends you may think you are going to die, but I promise, you wont! He will be your first love, and he will have a part of your heart for a very, very long time.
You think that getting to wear that crown to your senior homecoming will change your life, you were voted Princess, and you got your crown, but I promise it doesn't mean crap. 5 years from now when you're putting together your resume, believe me you will not be listing this as an achievement!
Day Homecoming my Sr. year - 2004 |
You have some pretty special girls in your life, and a few will stick by your side for many years to come. The one person you think will be by your side until the end, wont, after 16 years of friendship things will change and you wont even know who she is anymore. On the bright side, one of those girls will...she will be by your side when you marry your true love, you will share many adventures together, and she is the definition of a true friend. Cherish her, many girls aren't lucky enough to have that in their life.
Kyndall and & my Senior Prom. |
Moving out at 17, and having your own apartment at sounds like a fabulous idea. Don't be stupid, and don't even think you're independent. Swiping Daddy's credit card isn't the definition of independence, and you'll move home, you wont be happy about it, but you do. You will finish school and get into a career you love. You will have a very long stable work history, and be fortunate enough to say you have a job you love!
Spend more time with your Papaw, he is an incredible man, and cherishes you more that you will ever know. You may think that helping in the fields, or feeding the cows is a pretty lame way to spend your time, but one day he will be gone, and you'd give anything to have those days back.
You'll meet a guy, again with incredible dimples...what's with the dimples? He will treat you like a QUEEN, you will think it's fabulous and you'll spend every waking second with him, and other relationships will suffer. You will date for a very short period of time, then decide marriage at 19 is a splendid idea. Your parents wont stop you, they just want their baby girl happy, and lets be honest, NO isn't a word you hear often. You will be married for a couple years, then life will set in. You have champagne tastes on a beer budget, and you will do what it takes to keep up with The Jones', whoever they may be. You and he will struggle, and you will learn you have an amazing family who will do anything to not let you fall, when in reality they probably should to teach you a lesson. He will become increasingly more controlling to the point that you feel like you can't breathe. People who have always known you, and have always seen a smile on your face wont even recognize you. After a few years you will let it go, you will give up, and it will be the best decision you ever made. You will have your life back...and although you will have hard times...you will be absolutely fine!
One day you will finally grow up, you will learn what things you will tolerate, and things you will not. You will stop caring so much what other people think, and worry what those who matter the most think. You will have a wonderful career, amazing friends, and a wonderful husband, with no dimples! He will complete you and you will have an amazing relationship. Not to say life wont still hold the occasional struggle, but ultimately, you end up with everything you ever dreamed...no, no...not those stupid, unreasonable dreams that you have now...but real life, down home dreams! Your own version of Happy!